5 classic lines I missed in the Final Fantasy 7 Remake.
Here is a list of some of my favourite lines from the original game which were not included in the remake.
I'm the biggest Final Fantasy 7 fan there is! Well, probably not the biggest (I've seen what lurks on Twitter) but I am certainly a massive fan!
I spent many MANY hours of my childhood (and, ahem…my adulthood) replaying the game over and over. I dread to think how many hours I have clocked up over the years fighting Ruby Weapon or breeding chocobos.
Some of the most iconic moments in gaming were from Final Fantasy 7 and even when I replay it today, the story and dialogue are still the most powerful parts of the game.
After counting down the seconds (yes, seconds) until the release of the remake, I had mixed feelings once it was all finally over. Naturally, it was never going to completely please puritans like myself but here are some of the lighter-earthed (and dare I say, controversial?) things I missed while playing the remake.
1. Rufus’s one-liner.
Rufus’s classic line was in the remake…sort of! They had passed this line onto Heidegger and the delivery just wasn’t the same. The timing, the context, the sarcasm oozing from every word, all gone. So though it was in the remake, it was entirely spoiled.
The line originally happens at the top of the Shinra HQ when you go to rescue Aerith. Avalanche come face to face with the new president of Shinra Inc— Rufus Shinra. The gang briefly introduce themselves, during their confrontation.
Cloud — “I’m Cloud, former SOLDIER, First class.”
Barret — “I’m from AVALANCHE”
Tifa — “Same here!”.
Aerith — “….I’m a flower girl from the slums”.
Red 13 — “I'm a research specimen”
Rufus’s witty and sarcastic comment “What a crew!” always cracks me up. You can feel his arrogant tone and excitement from being recently made president, even through the voiceless text of the game. It is just unfortunate that the line happened to be butchered by the scene in the remake with Heidegger.
2. Tifa’s slur.
OK, OK! We all know why it was not in the remake. We have come a long way since 1997 in terms of political correctness but in my defence we are in a futuristic, dystopian, totalitarian hell hole with numerous adult themes and swearing.
Couldn’t they have just let it slide? Hearing someone as soft and sweet as Tifa say this would have been hilarious!
3. This guys are sick!
We all knew this was coming. I don’t think there is a more iconic line in the entire game than the poorly translated comment made by Aerith in the Sector 5 slums. “This guys are sick” has become such a fan favourite that people have named Youtube channels and websites after it. Heck, I have even seen a tattoo!
It was not included in the remake because, frankly, it is a translation mistake! Though I would have liked to see Square Enix use some initiative here and perhaps do a little nod to it. For example…
Aerith — “This guy are sick.”
Cloud — “…huh?.”
Aerith — “This guy is sick…S-sorry!”.
4. The Honey Bee Inn incident.
Oh, the mystery of what happened in that Honey Bee Inn hot tub! This scene flew right over my head as a child. As I got older I started to pick up on the very sexual nature of this adult theme. How does Cloud dither with Tifa and Aerith so much but still be happy to jump in with these questionable chaps?
Frankly, I cannot argue against why this was cut but that doesn't mean I won't miss it!
I bet there isn't a materia in the entire world which will undo what you saw in there, Cloud!
5. The Love Triangle debate.
One thing the remake lacked was the fantastic dialogue between Tifa and Aerith over the heart of Cloud. Some articles have pointed out that the remake can also be celebrated for not having both characters tearing each other down, but to be honest, I don't think they really did in the original game. You just see little moments where they clearly lock horns over him…and its hilarious!
What is in store for future parts?
There are several lines from the original game which I have earmarked to keep an eye out for in future parts of the remake. Lines which make me chuckle even till this day…and fear for their future.
Tifa’s underwear!
During the scene in Kalm, AVALANCHE takes refuge in a hotel room to regroup and catch up with what has just happened in Midgar. Cloud explains some of his “past” and describes a scene where he wanders into Tifa bedroom and finds some questionable clothing, then continues to stuff it in his pocket for…safe keeping?
The more I write the more I am realising how much naughty stuff was in the original game, it's just so thinly spread that you barely notice!
Either way, its gotta stay!
Barret's sailor suit!
Oh Cloud, I knew you had a personality in there somewhere. This line never fails to make me laugh. Square Enix has already associated Barret with a 300lbs sack of shit in the remake - thanks to the hilarious wit of Red 13. Let's hope Square Enix keep their sense of humour and give us the bear wearing a marshmallow line we all want!
Lets Mosey!
About to head down a monster-ridden crater to the centre of the planet to fight your ultimate foe in a near god-like form to save the planet?
“All right, everyone, let’s mosey.”
I don't see why Square Enix would try and remove this from the game but with all the incoherent nonsense the remake is churning out, anything could happen!
I would really miss this if this line was removed.
Cid’s foul mouth!
Cid is known as a foul-mouthed bad-ass who has all the charm and manners of a drunken sailor, which makes me worry that they will take a lot of his character out through editing for a modern politically correct audience.
Cid’s vile behaviour towards his loving wife will no doubt be edited out for the remake (or at least toned down). Though I fail to see a reason why they cannot keep this particular fan favourite line in the remake, as it is aimed towards the group themselves, rather than his ever-suffering wife, Shera.
That said, they have done a good job keeping swear words and insults in Part 1, so maybe I am worrying for nothing? Either way, there is a huge popularity for this line in the game, so much so that there is even a coffee mug.
And finally, one of the most powerful lines in the game (for me). During a Nibelheim flashback, Sephiroth shows off the incredible illusion powers of Jenova, and in turn, threatens to show everyone the innermost feelings of Tifa. Naturally, she cowers away at the idea of such intimate feelings being paraded in front of her comrades.
The reason I worry this line won't be in the remake is that the remake has already proven to have taken all subtlety and build-up during the game's story and will probably end up with Tifa marching down the street with an “I love Cloud” sign.
Thanks for reading!
